Asking for Help and Unanticipated Grace

Last month I really started to deeply connect with the idea of grace. I preached it in my Daily Big 3 with my staff (a quick little video I send out each morning to encourage focus and productivity while working from home) and I wrote about it on the blog. I gave it to our students. I gave it to our staff. I tried really hard to give it to my husband. Hey, I know that you know that I know what I'm talking about. (Let's not kid ourselves here, ladies.) I tried to give it to myself. 

Since this fun little five-letter word that starts with a 'g' has been at the forefront of my mind, I find that I can apply just about everything I experience to the idea. Wanna talk about leadership? Grace. Wanna talk about goals? Grace. Frustrated by that parent communication? Grace. Wanna talk about how I need a half piece of cheese even though I can clearly see that you are making dinner? Grace. Grace, Husband. Grace. 
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Wanna talk about how I need a half piece of cheese even though I can clearly see that you are making dinner? Grace.

​Asking for Help

Tonight (while ironically giving myself grace after a rough day in the inbox), I was reading Jen Hatmaker's new book Fierce, Free and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Gloriously You. (Side note: If you don't know, Jen Hatmaker could probably be my spirit animal if she had time to sit with me on my porch rather than wrangling up women across the globe for the mission of God. I guess that's acceptable, although I feel the loss of her presence profoundly.) In Chapter 5, she gets into this idea of asking for help, and I immediately thought, "Grace!" There it was again. Only this time, I found it in an unanticipated location (and not just mid lukewarm bath). I found it through the lens of asking for help. And I thought to myself, I want that! I want ​that culture at my school. I want that idea fluidly flowing throughout my life. 

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Why don't we just ask for help? Isn't there love in that? Isn't that a place where grace abounds? Who doesn't want to live like that? All in. 100%. 

If we can get outside of ourselves for just a second and be willing to be vulnerable, I think we might be met with such grace through our pleas for support. I don't know anyone who is better for going it alone. Why is that our human strategy of choice?

Moving forward, I vow to ask for help when I need it. I vow to be specific, and I vow to make my request time-bound so people can know exactly what I need, want or expect. Rather than try to rearrange my schedule to work three more hours on a presentation that someone else can do in 30 minutes, I am going to politely say, "Can you provide a slide show for our ceremony by tomorrow at 9 a.m.?" Rather than begrudging those who try to talk to me when I get to work early, I am going to honestly request that I have the first 15 minutes to get myself situated before I open my door. Rather than try to clean the house in tears when I am just too tired to give anymore, I am going to ask my husband to please for the love clean the puppy snot off the sliding glass door. Rather than run the committee, I am going to ask if someone else might be more passionate about that than me. 

And then, I want to cultivate this kind of grace in our school culture. I want it to run rampant and completely amuck. I want everyone to ask for help when they need it about all the things all the time. Rather than search Google for the perfect performance task for for Fahrenheit 451 I want teachers knocking down each other's doors. Instead of crying to your spouse on the car phone about that kid in your last hour class I want a behavior support invited into the room to help. Instead of responding to a challenging parent email I want to look over your shoulder as you hit send on a response we worked through together. People depending on people so we can love on kids better and build a better community based on heartfelt grace and wholehearted support.

That's the kind of school I want.

That's the kind of person I want to be. 

Full of grace, giving the rest to Jesus, and articulating to my crew and with my crew what we want and what we need. I want to find grace in the unanticipated place of a simple request for help. 

​Linger a Little Longer:
1. What prohibits you from asking for help? How does asking for help make you feel?
2. What could change about your current circumstance if you were willing to ask for help?
3. What is one area in your life in which you could ask for help today? Be specific with your request. Remember, clear is kind. 

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